Hey there fucking assholes <3
Sooo... Life has been way too exciting for writing here and even though I've thought about just dropping off some thoughts, I decided not to.
Wish I had though. I've done so many things the last months and it doesn't make sense to write them down now. Guess that'll wait till a day when I am reminded of it again.
And with no further comments I will start my complaining.
Have you ever felt unloved? And extremely confused? Everybody have probably been confused but I'm talking about this confusion about feelings. Oh boy. I don't know if I'm supposed to be happy, sad angry or something else!
See, I broke up with my boyfriend (yes, I had a boyfriend. Don't look so surprised, I have big boobs. Yes, I have big boobs.), got an A in my final and my father is being an idiot.
Happy, sad and angry.
But I guess I'm like tinkerbell, or any fairy as a matter of fact. I can only contain one feeling at a time.
Right now it is sadness, but it switches places with happiness because I have such nice friends distracting me.
The sadness is mostly because of my father. It's just that he has changed a lot lately. I don't recognize him anymore. He's just.. Not him.
He took an awful decision recently. My sister is finishing her what-ever-it-is-called. It's like a college. And I am finishing what is like high school. He decided to take my sister out eating with the rest of the family on the day I graduate. I cannot go because of this dinner with my class, which he should be attending to as well. So should the rest of my family. But as it seems now, it's only my mother and I who will be attending. Sucks.
He also decided not to join my sister's real party, which explains why he have to have dinner with her earlier. And all of this because his girlfriend doesn't like my mother. I mean, come on! She might be his girlfriend, but if she don't want to go, why can't he? Is that too much to ask of him?
He's hurting everybody else the way it looks now, so I really hope that he'll change it. And perhaps he will.
But my true wish is for him to stop chancing because of his girlfriend. Don't get me wrong, she is very nice, but I don't like the way she walks in and messes up a well balanced family. (My parents got divorced long ago, if you're wondering) She should be the one adjusting to our rhythm. Not the other way around. She doesn't even like it when my mother is at my father's house. Because she lived there once. She knows the place. Seriously, what the fuck? Okay, so my mother lived here once, but that shouldn't matter. If she is that uncomfortable staying in a house where my mom lived, it shouldn't have been her that moved. It should have been my father. But since it wasn't, she'll just have to get used to it.
Why can't she just realize that my mother isn't a threat? She have her own boyfriend and they've been together for six years! Really, my mother is harmless. And she only wants everyone to be happy. My father is the one crossing the line when he don't stand up to his girlfriend and his girlfriend is breaking the stepmother rules. (Working on them)
I just want them to be there for me and my sisters because this comes with being a father and not doing that he isn't doing his 'job' right.
xoxo Clara
Showing posts with label divorce. Show all posts
Showing posts with label divorce. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Sunday, December 11, 2011
To get a divorce or make do with a lover. That is the question.
I HATE STARTING A POST WITH AN APOLOGY BUT....
I realized that it's been a while since I made a post. I'M SO SORRAY.
The Christmas spirit finally hit me and I'm even more busy than usually. So many people, so little time xD
Theme of the day will be: Divorce.
My parents are divorced and have been for a very long time. I live one week at my mother's house and then one week at my father's but my address is at my father's house.
Divorce is such an ugly thing and I know lot's of people that aren't as lucky as I am. My parents can talk with each other without fighting and they're friendly. There's no problems even though some of the things my father do really annoy my mother.
Some of my friends parents can't even have a conversation without fighting. That is sad. They spend several years together and decided to marry and get children. And then, somehow, their love just ended. It may be that one of them stopped loving the other, if you can say that, long before but didn't want to end it. Then he/she met someone and they fell in love. And then it's bye-bye husband/wife and hello my new lover! YUM!
No seriously, that's just yikes. No one wants to be with someone who doesn't love them. So why not end it when you realize that it's not love but a habit? It makes no sense to me. I know my father did this once to his girlfriend and I had a very weird Christmas with her moving out of all sudden and then, maybe a month or two later, his new girlfriend moving in. It's not that I don't like her, I really do! It's just... Weird to have a new woman in the house, new rules, a new pet, and so on. I didn't see it coming.
I remember the day my parents told my sisters and I that they were getting divorced. I remember how much wee cried and how sad we were but today I'm happy about it. As I mentioned earlier my father have a new girlfriend. And my mother have a new boyfriend. And I can actually feel the love when my mother and her boyfriend are together. They've been in a relationship for God knows how long and they're still acting all lovey-dovey. I mean, as lovey-dovey as adults with children'll get. I think it's amazing that they can still be so much in love after such a long time. If I look at my father, the time that have passed from my parents getting divorced, he has had 3 girlfriends. My mother had one (she introduced to us, that is). There's so much more love between my mother and her boyfriend than there have ever been between my father and ANY of his girlfriends. But he is much more in love with his new girlfriend Gitte, than the others. I feel it and I hope my sisters do too.
But somehow children get stuck in the middle of a divorce. It happens every single time. The parents are fighting and there's no one to take care of the child. I've even experienced that one of the parents told the child not to do what the other said and they shouldn't believe a word either. That's not fair! It's not fair for the child OR the other parent. It annoys me that one would try to do that! Do not involve your children in a divorce like that. Tell them that you're getting a divorce and then save your arguments, hide your disgust, and put on a fake smile as long as there's people around. That is the easiest way to get through it. My mother once talked about her getting divorced from my father with a comment like "and then there's us, that can't stand looking at each other". I didn't feel that. I didn't feel that at all. And I'm glad I didn't. I had no opportunity to make one of them the bad guy and I didn't have to choose a side. I just felt sorry for myself. But I was younger back then and that might explain why I did not feel the tension.
I'll end this here. Sorry for my bad English but it's late and I can't focus.
Mood: tired
Eating: nothing
Drinking: water
Listening to: my mother in the background and the sound of my keyboard
Reading: math
I realized that it's been a while since I made a post. I'M SO SORRAY.
The Christmas spirit finally hit me and I'm even more busy than usually. So many people, so little time xD
Theme of the day will be: Divorce.
My parents are divorced and have been for a very long time. I live one week at my mother's house and then one week at my father's but my address is at my father's house.
Divorce is such an ugly thing and I know lot's of people that aren't as lucky as I am. My parents can talk with each other without fighting and they're friendly. There's no problems even though some of the things my father do really annoy my mother.
Some of my friends parents can't even have a conversation without fighting. That is sad. They spend several years together and decided to marry and get children. And then, somehow, their love just ended. It may be that one of them stopped loving the other, if you can say that, long before but didn't want to end it. Then he/she met someone and they fell in love. And then it's bye-bye husband/wife and hello my new lover! YUM!
No seriously, that's just yikes. No one wants to be with someone who doesn't love them. So why not end it when you realize that it's not love but a habit? It makes no sense to me. I know my father did this once to his girlfriend and I had a very weird Christmas with her moving out of all sudden and then, maybe a month or two later, his new girlfriend moving in. It's not that I don't like her, I really do! It's just... Weird to have a new woman in the house, new rules, a new pet, and so on. I didn't see it coming.
I remember the day my parents told my sisters and I that they were getting divorced. I remember how much wee cried and how sad we were but today I'm happy about it. As I mentioned earlier my father have a new girlfriend. And my mother have a new boyfriend. And I can actually feel the love when my mother and her boyfriend are together. They've been in a relationship for God knows how long and they're still acting all lovey-dovey. I mean, as lovey-dovey as adults with children'll get. I think it's amazing that they can still be so much in love after such a long time. If I look at my father, the time that have passed from my parents getting divorced, he has had 3 girlfriends. My mother had one (she introduced to us, that is). There's so much more love between my mother and her boyfriend than there have ever been between my father and ANY of his girlfriends. But he is much more in love with his new girlfriend Gitte, than the others. I feel it and I hope my sisters do too.
But somehow children get stuck in the middle of a divorce. It happens every single time. The parents are fighting and there's no one to take care of the child. I've even experienced that one of the parents told the child not to do what the other said and they shouldn't believe a word either. That's not fair! It's not fair for the child OR the other parent. It annoys me that one would try to do that! Do not involve your children in a divorce like that. Tell them that you're getting a divorce and then save your arguments, hide your disgust, and put on a fake smile as long as there's people around. That is the easiest way to get through it. My mother once talked about her getting divorced from my father with a comment like "and then there's us, that can't stand looking at each other". I didn't feel that. I didn't feel that at all. And I'm glad I didn't. I had no opportunity to make one of them the bad guy and I didn't have to choose a side. I just felt sorry for myself. But I was younger back then and that might explain why I did not feel the tension.
I'll end this here. Sorry for my bad English but it's late and I can't focus.
Mood: tired
Eating: nothing
Drinking: water
Listening to: my mother in the background and the sound of my keyboard
Reading: math
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