Fathers: to suck or not to suck.

Hey there fucking assholes <3


Sooo... Life has been way too exciting for writing here and even though I've thought about just dropping off some thoughts, I decided not to.


Wish I had though. I've done so many things the last months and it doesn't make sense to write them down now. Guess that'll wait till a day when I am reminded of it again.


And with no further comments I will start my complaining. 


Have you ever felt unloved? And extremely confused? Everybody have probably been confused but I'm talking about this confusion about feelings. Oh boy. I don't know if I'm supposed to be happy, sad angry or something else!


See, I broke up with my boyfriend (yes, I had a boyfriend. Don't look so surprised, I have big boobs. Yes, I have big boobs.), got an A in my final and my father is being an idiot.


Happy, sad and angry. 


But I guess I'm like tinkerbell, or any fairy as a matter of fact. I can only contain one feeling at a time. 


Right now it is sadness, but it switches places with happiness because I have such nice friends distracting me.


The sadness is mostly because of my father. It's just that he has changed a lot lately. I don't recognize him anymore. He's just.. Not him. 


He took an awful decision recently. My sister is finishing her what-ever-it-is-called. It's like a college. And I am finishing what is like high school. He decided to take my sister out eating with the rest of the family on the day I graduate. I cannot go because of this dinner with my class, which he should be attending to as well. So should the rest of my family. But as it seems now, it's only my mother and I who will be attending. Sucks.


He also decided not to join my sister's real party, which explains why he have to have dinner with her earlier. And all of this because his girlfriend doesn't like my mother. I mean, come on! She might be his girlfriend, but if she don't want to go, why can't he? Is that too much to ask of him?


He's hurting everybody else the way it looks now, so I really hope that he'll change it. And perhaps he will. 


But my true wish is for him to stop chancing because of his girlfriend. Don't get me wrong, she is very nice, but I don't like the way she walks in and messes up a well balanced family. (My parents got divorced long ago, if you're wondering) She should be the one adjusting to our rhythm. Not the other way around. She doesn't even like it when my mother is at my father's house. Because she lived there once. She knows the place. Seriously, what the fuck? Okay, so my mother lived here once, but that shouldn't matter. If she is that uncomfortable staying in a house where my mom lived, it shouldn't have been her that moved. It should have been my father. But since it wasn't, she'll just have to get used to it. 


Why can't she just realize that my mother isn't a threat? She have her own boyfriend and they've been together for six years! Really, my mother is harmless. And she only wants everyone to be happy. My father is the one crossing the line when he don't stand up to his girlfriend and his girlfriend is breaking the stepmother rules. (Working on them)


I just want them to be there for me and my sisters because this comes with being a father and not doing that he isn't doing his 'job' right. 


xoxo Clara

To kiss or not to kiss - A simple question

I'll just get to the point.

A couple of days ago I was at J-popcon which is a cosplay convention in Denmark.
I was fooling around with a couple of friends and I was wearing a sticker that said: "Kiss me".
You probably already guessed what happened.
This guy came up to me and kissed me! I've never even met him before and I don't think we'll ever meet again.
It's just pissing me of that people do that kind of thing! I didn't even know him. My god. I was so shocked I didn't even get to speak with him before he left. And I'm glad. It wouldn't have been pretty. I'm really not comfortable with people who do that kind of stuff. I can't take it. I'm a very open person but I don't usually go around and kiss people a barely know. A kiss on the cheek is okay but on the lips and a stranger? Never, ever.
I really hope I'll never experience that again 'cause I'll might get very angry.

People should really think before they act. And not only when it comes to stuff like this. Consider how many people you hurt before doing something stupid. Don't parents teach their children not to cross the lines we draw?
I guess I'm just a weird child then. I apologize way too often because I'm afraid of hurting people.
A conversation with me:

Me: "blablabla.. Sorry, blablabla, sorry, blurhblabaaah"
You: "blahblurhblaaa"
Me: "blabuublalbva,  sorry, bluh."
You: "Stop saying sorry, god damn it!"
Me: ".... Sorry."

I know, I know. It's extremely annoying and yes, this is the actual conversation. Literally.
I don't think it's healthy to think THAT much about others. Sometimes I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. That is not comfortable, I can assure you of that.

But do me a favor and stick with a kiss on the cheek if you have to kiss me, m'kay?

Mood: slightly annoyed
Eating: nothing
Drinking: milk
Listening to: Panic! At the Disco - The Ballad of Mona Lisa
Reading: this, duuuh

Clara out.